Materiam Superabat Opus

          Here a while back, you may have seen the trend on social media involving the “Love Your Spouse” challenge where you are supposed to post pictures of your spouse to show how much you love them. I read an article on how one person refused to take part in the challenge because it is a glorification of the “highlight reel.”

          Let’s think about selfies for a moment. How many do you take and swipe through before you find that perfect one? Do you flip through them saying, “Ugg, my eyes are droopy in this one. Don’t like my smile in that one. Well, I guess in this one I don’t look as fat…” You can then go through and do color corrections and apply filters and do all this stuff to make that picture look amazing. And then you post the selfie and wait for the “Likes” to start rolling in. I am not going to say that it is fake but it’s not exactly 100% real either. It’s a highlight reel.

Me at 243 pounds

           I am not pointing fingers here because I do the same thing. Here, just to show I am not blowing smoke… This is one of my most recent “gym selfies.” I use an old boudoir photography trick. My hips are always turned 45-degrees away from the camera with my front leg bent slightly and then I twist so that my shoulders are squarely facing the camera. This slims and tapers the waist. Go ahead, try it in the mirror, you will see what I am talking about.

           Don’t get me started on the “Facebook Fishers.” We all know that person. They throw out vague statements with no explanation just so they can get all those “keep your head up, girl” comments to validate their self-worth.

          I feel life is one big balancing act. It is a razor’s edge that we have to walk. You cannot love yourself so much that you become egomaniacal but you cannot hate yourself so much that you sink into hopelessness. You don’t want to be a braggadocio but you cannot be all “I am such a worthless peon” either. Remember, confidence is one of the sexiest things on the planet.

           Now, just so I am not a highlight reel hypocrite, allow me now to shine a light so you can see my imperfections. Over two years ago, I started FURYAN STRENGTH. If you haven’t read through this whole thing, the name is derived from Vin Diesel’s RIDDICK film series where Furyans are some of the baddest mammer-jammers in the galaxy. I had no idea what I was doing and I built this program from the ground up through research, study, and good old fashioned trial and error.

           I had very specific goals when I started. I had found my “why.” The truth is I hated my physical appearance. I was tired of being overweight. I told myself that I wanted to cut a striking figure when I walked my little girl down the aisle. I wanted to be physically attractive. Women can say all they want about how they want a guy that makes them laugh but I’ve never heard women swoon over the latest Adam Sandler movie trailer but let a sequel for MAGIC MIKE get announced… 

           Through this, I’ve dropped weights, injured my ankle, smashed fingers, been on the verge of vomiting, and even shed an occasional tear. Not kidding about that last one. I’ve consulted trainers, spent countless hours on websites, and I even weigh my food. But this struggle has made me a better person.   I have had people tell me that I am doing a great job and I am thankful but ego is the enemy.

          In all of my training, I have made it a dedicated task to stay humble. I still see all my flaws, probably more than any other person ever would. I know this because here a while back I was basically felt up and molested by an aggressive woman and rather than feel my head inflate with pride as she was squeezing my muscles, I was embarrassed for the praise…

          I am not where I want to be yet and the only way I can get there is through hard work. There is no magic pill, no special drink, no shortcuts. I have to clang and bang and sweat and curse and cry. You have to hate to elevate.

           But in doing so, it also makes me a modest teacher. I’ve given my program to several people when they asked me. It is this blog you are reading here. And just last week, I was answering a question for a trio of ladies picking up weights for the first time. I was happy to help because I wish I had a mentor to guide me at that phase. (Did you know how to target the three different delts for nice rounded shoulders?) They told me, “Maybe if we keep this up, we will get to look like you.” I responded so quickly, it was just instinct, “You all need to elevate your standards.”

           Humility. Humility in the face of praise. Humility makes you bust your ass. You have to believe that you are good enough. You have to believe that you CAN do it. But once you start believing that you have achieved it and that you are great, you’ve lost. You lose that hunger. Your aspiration dips. You start believing your own hype. I seem to recall a certain movie title ROCKY III that was built around this entire concept. The antidote for this poison is iron.

          Iron is the great equalizer. Iron doesn’t give a shit about your pride. Iron doesn’t give a shit about your hype. Iron doesn’t give a shit about your ego. 200 pounds is 200 pounds. Lift it or don’t. Iron will humble you faster than anything and despite how far you have come, it will remind you how far you have to go.

          And when your resolve is wavering, remember this. Materiam superabat opus. The workmanship was better than the material.  Imagine a martial arts master that has climbed the ranks. The more he learns the more he realizes how deadly he truly is, so the more he learns the less apt he is to use what he knows because he knows how bad he can mess someone up.

          All that hard work you put in will transforms you and not just physically. If you stay humble and stay hungry, you become a teacher. You will be supportive of the novice that is nervous walking into the gym for the first time. You will become inspiration for those that are struggling, offering praise and encouragement. But if you let your ego run unchecked and start believing your own hype, you become that arrogant guy strutting about in a barely there tank top. Free advice, kids. No one likes that guy.

          Now take this lesson and apply to aspects in your life: job, family relationships, whatever. Ego is your enemy. You’ve still got a lot to learn. Stay humble in all things. Now, go forth and do likewise.