When Nordic people believed in
their pantheon of gods (Odin, Thor, etc.), they believed that if you fell
heroically in battle, you would go to the great shield hall in the sky where
you would party and drink mead with the All-Father until Ragnarok. During
Ragnarok (the end of all things), the demons would escape their hellish prison
and besiege the great shield hall where all of the gods (and those lucky enough
to be with them) would fight to the death… and they lose. Strangely, they know
they are going to lose before the battle even begins but they fight the battle
anyway because it is not about winning and losing. It is about putting forth
that noble and heroic effort.
I
rarely talk about this but when things were really bad for me, I just hated
myself. After I would eat, I would need to stretch out by lying on my stomach
to alleviate pain. I was winded from minor physical exertion. I rarely took
pictures. I never took selfies. I have very few pictures of me and my kids to
pass on to them. I just didn’t like who I had become. So I started my process to turn things
around. I want you all to keep that in mind.
I
just finished watching GENERATION IRON, which is a 2013 documentary about the
Mr. Olympia competition. The movie focuses on some of the biggest bodybuilding
champions of this era; names like Phil Heath and Kai Greene. If you Google
Image search these guys, you see the top of their class.
But
even I look at it say, “Man, that is too much.” I am not alone in this opinion.
The greatest bodybuilder of all time, Arnold Schwarzenegger, has commented on
how now the sport revolves around how big you can be and we are losing the
aesthetics of someone like Reg Park or Frank Zane. You want to see a beautiful
man? Google Image Search Frank Zane and you will see what I am talking about.
My ideal goal is to have something similar to Chris Evans as Captain America. Or
Vin Diesel in Riddick. That is who I named my program after and what I am
pushing towards.
In the
documentary, these pro bodybuilders talk about how they have to crush their
competition, even if it means playing head games and such. (And, yes, I know.
Arnold did that too.) In order to achieve their dream, they have to crush
everyone else’s. I know I am never going to be a bodybuilding champion because
I do not have that mindset and I do not want to compete against other people.
I am not an
athlete. I will tell you that straight up. Even in my 9-to-5 job, our product
is so good that we are not competing with other agencies. There is more than
enough business to go around. So we are not trying to be better than this
company or that company. We are just trying to be the best company we can be. And
I have embraced that philosophy completely. I am infinitely happier for having
done so.
For
me, they gym is the same way. Maybe this is why I have stuck to my program for
as long as I have, because I am not competing against other people. When I walk
into the gym, my opponents are me from yesterday, complacency, laziness, fat…
and – my greatest enemy of all – death. I hit the gym because I am fighting to
ward off death. Like so many Nordic warriors, I know I will not defeat him. In
the long run, he is always going to win. What matters is that I put up the
biggest fight to stave that defeat off for as long as possible.
See, with
physical fitness, there is enough success to go around. My success does not
hamper anyone else’s and vice versa. There are more than enough seats at the
table. And if people see what I am doing and that inspires them or gives them
new ideas for their own training, I treat that as a win-win. A rising tide
lifts all ships.
Back
several years ago, when things were really bad for me, I don’t want to say that
I was suicidal but if Death would have shown up on my door, I wouldn’t have
gone kicking and screaming. I would have pulled a Newman and asked, “What took
you so long?” Today, I have turned my life around. I have a great job. I have a
little money. I try to be the best father I can be. And I am trying to shape
myself into something healthy and strong. Furyan Strength has brought me
confidence and I feel better about myself.
I
have no delusions. I know I still have a long way to go. I do not have six pack
abs or veins showing in my legs. I see myself and I see that I am not where I
want to be. But I think about where I could potentially be if I would NOT have
started down this road. What if I was still shame eating and stress eating? I
had a hard day. Why don’t I deserve that Little Debbie? It’s the only thing
that brings me joy now! And that just fed the shame spiral… and that is
difficult to reverse course on.
I may not be
where I want to be… but where would I be if I hadn’t started this journey at
all? And that is what keeps me going. But somedays… somedays, people, it is
very damn hard…
